how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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