Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
