You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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