Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
