How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
