I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
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