physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize