Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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