I met the friendliest cop last night
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
