They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize