Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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