Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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