Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
