Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
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i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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