But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
