tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
