he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
