She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
