I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Randomize
