I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize