You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
