I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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