So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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