my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
