Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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