no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
