Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
