Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
