So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Boobs are out for the taking
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
