just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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