He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
