i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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