This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
