I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
