Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
