We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
