FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We left an ass print on the piano.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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