dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
