Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
