my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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