I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
