At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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