idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
