I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
