I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize