I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Hippo gnu deer
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
