A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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