ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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