i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
