great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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