i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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