The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
