flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
