Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
