You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
