ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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