it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
