She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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