It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize