nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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