What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize