i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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