It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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