i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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