some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
