people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
